TUF 34's Melissa Amaya opens up on mental health struggles

Melissa Amaya won her Ultimate Fighter 34 debut with a first-round submission, but the toughest battles she has faced happened outside the cage.

The 31-year-old strawweight, who trains with Team Sikjitsu in Spokane and counts Julianna Peña as a mentor, told MMA Fighting she began experiencing severe depression at 16 after a knee injury ended her track and field career. A second knee injury in college reinforced what she calls "the blues" — bouts of sadness that arrive without warning. "It's nothing that precipitates it, it's just like, 'OK, that's weird,'" Amaya said. "People are like, 'Maybe there's a trigger,' and I'm like, no, it just happens. You could be in the middle of this crazy, happy party around your family and suddenly everything just kind of seems like, beeeeeeep, and you're just like, 'I don't want to be here anymore.'"

Why Amaya refuses to stay silent about depression

While fighters like Paddy Pimblett and Sean Strickland have discussed mental health publicly, the topic remains taboo in many combat sports circles. Amaya rejects the idea that athletes should keep quiet about their struggles. "Am I supposed to shut up and be ashamed about it?" she said, per the MMA Fighting interview. "There were times when I was crying in the bathroom before practice, because it was just coming out of my eyes. I call it 'crying spells' and I'm like, 'What is going on? Why can't I control this?' I felt like I was losing my mind."

Amaya, who was the sixth overall pick on the reality show, stopped Anna Melisano in the season premiere to move one step closer to a UFC contract. She credits Peña with providing support when the depression hits. "When you feel a certain way and you communicate it to somebody that understands, instead of being like, 'Oh my God, do I need to make sure you're not going to kill yourself?' they, like, maybe giggle, and be like, 'Yeah, been there. You're going to be OK,'" Amaya said.

The Ultimate Fighter 34 airs Tuesdays on ESPN Plus, with the finale set for later this summer.

Photo: MMAnytt / Wikimedia Commons, CC BY 3.0

Original reporting:

• mmafighting.com — The Ultimate Fighter 34’s Melissa Amaya won’t shy away from mental health battle: ‘I felt like I was losing my mind’ | MMA Fighting